Sunday, 2 September 2007


It's two o'clock in the morning where I am.

I'm sitting alone on my sofa with a laptop on my knee, It's dark here and I'm not exactly sober at this point. The phone rang a few minutes ago but I ignored it as I didn't recognise the number, had to check it on the computer to see who it was, a girl I know with whom I had a breif fling a while ago. Sometimes I think why can't the phone just stop ringing, I dont even check my mail any more, my box is almost full. How long can I keep this up? I have to get away and escape all of this but I can't leave for at least ten months, the stress levels build up and it gets unbearable, this is why I drink or at least one of the reasons. This is the radar and I am at it's mercy, there is no-where here I can escape it. I daydream about walking along the riverside and being relaxed and free of any wories about people catching up with me, no debt collectors here will ever find me in Cambo. I need to sleep, thoughts of escape plague me all the time I'm going to take a sleeper and drop out of the world for a few hours. I've taken the ringer off the doorbell, I need to sleep.


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